


without you

by scftboi



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Fiction, Gay, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 20:03:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19325134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scftboi/pseuds/scftboi
Summary: in which mark finds all kinds of things his old lover has left him.





	1. 一

gogobebe - mamamoo

 

ＩＩ→ ~~———————————————~~ 3:16

 

It's been a while since he's left me. Now, I think, about four or five years. He was my everything, and now I have to do the thing I dreaded most; cleaning out all of his old stuff. As I went through his closet, I found a box. A box full of letters, addressed to me.

 

I took out the one that said "the first" on it.

 

_It's been awhile, huh? I know you thought it was best, taking time to clean out this closet, but you should've just ripped the band-aid right off, Mark, like I did. You should've accepted that I'm dead by now, not waiting a few months or years to do it. But I too, have things to say._

_I know that I've liked you—heck, loved you for a long time now, but I never thought it would be this much._

_Why did you have to be so perfect? Why did I have to like you?_

_\- your ♡, jackson_


	2. 二

 

butterfly - loona

 

ＩＩ→ ~~——————————————~~ 3:58

 

    He read on, opening the second letter.

 

_I hope you read these in order. It's kinda funny, It's just taking so long. But do I really want to die? Um, not really. Even though life's not great right now, i still have you, it's not enough to die. I still don't understand; What could cause a person to want to die so much? Why would someone want to leave this earth, this life? It's beautifully mind-baffling._

_I know by the time you read these you'll still be single. Don't spend too many months, or years grieving me. Go make yourself happy, go find someone who you can love._

_Go love again. I'll wait for you, even if it's all in vain once you find someone else._

_\- your ♡，jackson_


	3. 三

i wanna be - key (feat. soyeon)

 

ＩＩ→ ~~———————————————~~ 3:13

 

I felt like crying already, but I continued to read anyway.

 

_So. This is the, third? Ok, wow, already. Um. Well, I meant what I said earlier. I do hope you find someone else, because no one deserves to be sad for the rest of their life. Especially not you. Not because of me._

_I know it's probably hard for you to read these, but think back to when I was alive. All the good memories we'll make—well, already made by your time. By the way, to try to lighten the mood i'll make a few jokes, having lung cancer suuuuucks dude. You're glad you don't have it, seriously. But actually, on a serious note, I wish it wasn't like this. I've always wanted to live a full life with you, but I know at the same time it's not possible._

 

_\- your ♡, jackson_


	4. 四

take a break - hamilton

 

ＩＩ→ ~~———————————————~~ 4:48

 

 

At this point his eyes were starting to water, just alittle. But he continued to read on; he wanted to know what Jackson had to say.

 

_Why are you still reading these, Mark? Don't get me wrong, I love you with all my heart, but baby, don't live your life in sadness because of me, okay? Go find someone who can keep you happier than I could. I will always love you, forever and ever, please never forget that._

_Oh, how I wish I didn't have to leave! It's always so beautiful, especially with you. Life itself is beautiful, and I'm glad I'll spend the rest ofmy short one with you._

 

_\- your ♡, jackson_

 

 


	5. 五

we were - winner

 

ＩＩ→ ~~———————————————~~ 3:54

 

 

I think I was crying. Or a single tear had slipped out by then.

 

_You already know by now, but I told you. It was April 12, 2014. That was the day I told you I liked you—well, loved you (but you know I'd said liked). And when I told you about my, my disease. My lung cancer. I tried to be lighthearted about it, cracking jokes, and saying things like, "Dude, I know you’re kinda sad right now, but can I just tell you that it suuucks to have cancer, I hope you never get it."_

_You ran away crying, but not before saying that you liked me back, and that made me the happiest man earth that day._

 

_\- your ♡, jackson_


	6. 六

say my name - ateez

 

ＩＩ→ ~~———————————————~~ 3:42

 

 

   I didn't know what to say, so I just kept reading.

 

  _After you ran off you didn't talk to me for a while. I was sad. Mark, did you know that when you talked to me saying you were sorry for not talking to me I almost screamed because of how excited I was._

 

   I laughed out loud at this. It sounded like something he would do.

 

_Then, you asked me out. As you know by now, I did scream. You said that you would spend as much time with me as possible before my time was up._

_Oh, you made me so happy that day. Probably more happy than when you said you liked me back before you ran off._

_Our date was practically perfect, in such a cliché way. As you know, we went to the movies, then it to dinner and kissed when you dropped me off at home, except you came in and slept with me._

_I love you so much._

_\- your ♡, jackson_


	7. 七

crown - txt

 

ＩＩ→ ~~———————————————~~ 3:51

 

Just reading his letters has me reliving the past. Oh, I miss him. So, so much.

 

_As you know, yesterday I was admitted into the hospital. You cried. A lot. I told you that I'd be fine, and that I'd be out soon. I told you I wasn't a big deal, that it was just because I had had a fever and they had to check up on me. Guess what, Mark? I lied, and I feel terrible. Like an absolute traitor. You looked so hopeful after I'd said that. You smiled at me, and said that you could wait to see me soon. And that you'd visit me._

_I'm just glad I met you, and we fell in love._

_\- your ♡, jackson_


	8. 八

maybe it's not our fault - yerin baek

 

ＩＩ→ ~~———————————————~~ 3:52

 

I love you too.

  

_Well, your birthday's in a week. And my doctor said it's not certain I will live another day, much less a week. I might die tomorrow, or in two day, maybe in an hour, you can just never know. You told me you're visiting in an hour, so now I'm determined to live to see you._

_Oh, how cliché are we? So, so cliché. But I love it. And I love you._

_\- your ♡, Jackson_

_P.S._

_goodbye._

_My love._


End file.
